Expectations


Expectations

What are expectations? According to the Oxford dictionary  expectations are a strong belief that something will happen or be the case. 

Through your life, you will develop expectations of yourself, of others and situations in your life. Over the last few years, I have become very aware of how I place expectations on myself and on others.

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.” 

― Sylvia Plath

How do expectations affect my life?

On myself, setting myself aims to do tasks, when I do this, I have to ask is the expectation of the result of the task I am doing realistic? Do I have the skills and resources to complete the task? Do I have the time to complete it?

This as come in both my personal and business life.

My personal life – it came about when I set myself the aim of improving my eating plan to allow me to become healthier, did I have the commitment to do it? Could I be consistent with the exercise, with the food I am eating. I have been working on this since 2019, I was very consistent in the first year, but over the last 2 years I have had a few challenges with sticking to my plan. 

What I am is aware and I can stop, take time to breathe and think about how I can make it easier. I do not beat myself up. I accept that this can happen, I just have to learn from it.

Remember FAIL – First Attempt in Learning

My business life – over the last few years I have been building my coaching business and I have to say that my expectations have got in my way. They were too high, unrealistic for building a business.

I would be that passionate about my mission, that I would move forward with my plans developing a coaching package, developing group sessions, collaborating with other professionals expecting it all to just happen instantly. 

As we know that is not the case when building a business in normal circumstances, in the last 2 years that has been a more interesting situation.

Then we have expectations of others

Over the years this has been an interesting one for me, I have been a people pleaser supporting and helping others when they were in challenging circumstances due to feeling like I am needed. The issue was when I found myself having challenges my expectations were that those people would be there to support me and they were not. This meant I had to evaluate my expectations.

You can live in the same house and expect the person who lives with you to do something in the house that they do not see as a priority at that time, they may not see it as their role or they may never have been shown it.

It can be in relationships where you expect the other person to find time for you (phone call, to meet up), when they don’t you feel hurt and start asking yourself questions.

We can also have other people’s expectations of us, when people expect you to change something you are doing because their perception is different from yours and they fail to ask what your perception is.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 

― Paulo Coelho

To allow us to evaluate expectations in life

If a new situation ask yourself

What you would like to have happen?

Ask your self is what you would like to have happen is a realistic expectation and if not, can it be broken down to achieve in the long term.

When dealing with situations that are challenging due to expectations. Ask where did the expectations come from and are they realistic?

If you feel upset about something you expected. Ask yourself was your expectation realistic? If not work a plan to achieve the expectation in the future.

In relationships, you may want to look at what is happening. What are your expectations? Are they realistic? Is it possible for the person to achieve? 

If not, are you willing to lower your expectations or maybe you have to find someone who can give you the treatment you expect? Remember we can not control other people to get our expectations.

When you become aware of expectations, life is interesting and each situation will have to be assessed to allow you to make the decision that is right for you. 

Remember to always look for the silver linings that are around in your life and aspire to achieve your aims by being consistent with the plans you have to achieve your aims. 

Book a call with Jo to explore your expectations Ready to explore my expectations

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